As I walk down the hall I can’t help but notice the same people kissing at the same locker at exactly the same time every day. And people always ask me how are they still together or why another relationship didn’t work out.
Well, it’s really quite simple: the average relationship is doomed before it even becomes official. But we all know that one couple who has been together for what seems like forever. The secret behind their success is that they knew what they were doing. While you were busy trying to make him jealous they were busy apologizing for their mistakes and they hit each relationship checkpoint at about the right time. Here is my defined outline for any successful relationship.
Let’s say you are lucky enough to find someone who might be interested in you and you feel the same way about him or her. This is the first milestone, finding someone interested. Remember though, they didn’t just start dating: they went through the awkward phase of “talking” and waiting for something to finally happen. I’ve witnessed people say “I love you” too early and it completely shakes the foundation of the relationship. Rule number one: never say I love you within the first week of dating.
Next thing a person should do is engage in conversation at school and just start talking to your other on a regular basis. This is also a good time to see if you actually like this person or it was just that he/she looked really nice the other day and after a few text messages it turns out she has no boyfriend/girlfriend potential. Well, in that case if you are no longer interested there are certain steps available to get to the point of friends with benefits. Those steps will be listed a few paragraphs down so stay tuned.
If it has been about a week or two and you now text each other almost every night you have reached the awkward “talking” phase. This is the most delicate part of any soon to be relationship, because talking is not a sign of commitment. It really is only saying that I think I like you, but if I notice anybody else who looks better, or has a better personality, and is available, then goodbye. But make sure not to rush the talking sequence either because if a relationship starts after only three days of talking it makes someone look desperate and lonely. The perfect time to be in talking limbo would be about a week or two. Don’t wait too long to make a move or else you might land in the dreadful friend zone. Luckily there is a cop out, friends with benefits. The way to show you absolutely do not want anything serious. A great way to hint at your intentions would be act over flirtatious. Don’t start talking about how their day went or what goals they hope they can accomplish by the end of the year. Make it clear what you are aiming for without sounding easy. That is the biggest dilemma for FWB. How do I politely say I am not interested in you but your body.
Now it’s been a couple of weeks and you’re legitimately attracted to the other person for more than what is under their clothes. It’s safe to say you two are a “thing” but nobody has popped the question to make it official. This is the dating stage, the third checkpoint of a healthy relationship. This is a nice stage because all this really consists of is hardcore make out sessions and occasional hugs goodbyes. Another bonus of just dating is that it leaves a scapegoat in case things go sour and you need to run away from him or her because you found out they are secretly crazy. Dating shouldn’t take long, maybe another week or so. Then someone needs to step up to the plate and ask, “Will you be my girl/boyfriend?” Preferably the guy but we live in a different time these days.
The breakthrough that everyone looks forward to for multiple reasons, the honeymoon. The fourth and most famous landmark on this trail. The reason for being called the honeymoon phase is because you are not capable of noticing your spouses flaws but only the great things they possess. Also it’s an all out love making fest anytime you two are alone. That’s usually the highlight of any relationship, but unfortunately it only lasts for a short time and transitions you for a reality check that many people refuse to accept.
The last and final checkpoint is where you call each other babe and other pet names that have been created. Now you two have been an item for three months, talked for about a month, dated for another month, and have been official for the last. The sad part of this stage is that now your companions painstakingly noticeable imperfections shine like you’ve never seen before. Although these problems might aggravate you every once in awhile, your feelings for him/her are still deep and true. It has been a tough road, but now you two are inseparable and might even be saying the Love word and meaning it.
