Many of my friends and other adults in my life are constantly asking me about what I’ll be doing next year. Where am I going to college? Am I staying in a dorm or off campus with friends? What classes will I be taking? What’s my major going to be? And this is always an awkward subject for me, because next year I’m not going to college. I’m going to Italy.

Next year, rather than going directly to college to start working on the rest of my life, I’m taking a gap year and traveling abroad through a program called Rotary. Originally, it was something my mom had briefly mentioned to me. She said that another parent was talking to her about an exchange her son did through Rotary and how much he enjoyed it. My mom knew how much I’d been wanting to go to Europe, and here was an opportunity.

I admit that, at first, I didn’t take the suggestion too seriously. I thought it’d be cool to go to Europe after high school, but would I really want to spend an entire year there? Wouldn’t I miss my friends and family? And I’d be missing my whole first year of college. Would I really want to come back and try to catch up with my friends? I figured that it couldn’t hurt to just go to Rotary’s site and check out all they had to offer.

Hands down, one of my best decisions.

Long story short, there were two and a half interviews (half because one was more like a meeting than an interview), one long application and one short application, and two group meetings for outbound and inbound Rotarians (which is a word, I swear).

For several reasons, I ended up deciding to go on an exchange. At first, I was pretty torn between an exchange and college, and there was a point when I was fairly sure that I was going to choose college over an exchange. I didn’t know if I really wanted to be a year behind my friends in college. I also thought that maybe I would like Italy too much to want to come home, or, perhaps I’d hate Italy and spend a year being homesick. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that these weren’t really as big of a deal as I was making them out to be.

One major reason that I chose to take a gap year is because I’m not ready for the rest of my life. This might sound really immature or stupid, but it’s true. I really don’t know what it is that I want to do every day for the next 40 to 50 years of my life. That doesn’t mean I’m simply trying to run away from college or growing up. I have an idea (albeit a broad one) of what I’d like to do as a career, and I have a good idea of where I want to go to college. But honestly, I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t have a nice, neat plan in place like some people. And who knows? Maybe this exchange will help me figure that out.

Second, and it physically pains me to admit this, but this could be my only opportunity to travel to Europe. For a really long time now, I’ve been dying to go to Europe. The art, the culture, the people… I’ve always heard that it’s so much different from anything we have here in the United States. It’s a combination of having taken AP European History, having friends go to Germany and France, and my own interest that drives me to want this so badly. If I were to go to college, I could end up getting wrapped up in so many different things that traveling to Europe might never happen. I don’t want ‘going to Europe’ to be one of those huge regrets that I have to live with forever.

Last, I just want to get away. Away from the United States, away from Kansas, away from school, away from family and friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love all my family and friends, Kansas isn’t all that bad, and the United States is a great country. But I’ve never left it. I want to go out and see the world. I want to know what it’s like to be thousands of miles from everything I’ve known and reacting to everything new that I have to take in. I want to feel somewhat independent. I could likely be the only American in the host school, my host family may have never even met an American (let alone hosted one before), and aside from the occasional Skype session with friends and family and Rotary-sponsored events, I may not have any real contact with an American for my entire exchange, which is an amazing thought and a terrifying one. Maybe this is some kind of teen angst-fueled rebellion that’s taken a more controlled path. Maybe it’s not. Either way, I think it’ll be good to get away. Like a really, REALLY long vacation, but where I have school six days a week in a language I’ve only barely started learning.

Overall, I’m pleased with my decision. Looking back at all my worries, none of them really seemed to stick with me. I’m not worried about being a year behind my friends in college. I’m not worried about homesickness. I’m not worried about feeling uncomfortable in a new place for a year. I think that it’ll be a good experience, something that’ll stick with me for the rest of my life. I think that it could also really help me decide what it is that I want to do with my life after I come back. Until then, ciao!