Living a life with separated parents can be easy or it can be hard. Some like to say they like getting double the presents around the holiday season. Others claim it is the hardest part of the year for them for their own personal reasons.

I am not writing this to say one is more common or is more correct than the other. I am simply writing this to provide an insight to those who may not fully know what it is like for those with separated families. Of course, this is my own personal experience and it is not the same for everyone else.

In most cases people who find the holidays to be a great thing when having separated parents, the child has never really known what it is like for their parents to be together. The parents had either separated when the children were too young to remember or the parents were never truly together. That is the category I  happen to fall into. In that perspective only, I find the holidays to be fun and a time for happiness among my family. I generally plan ahead to celebrate with my father’s side of the family, which includes my dad, stepmother, younger half-brother, and my older stepsister. I then celebrate the actual holiday with my mother, whom I live with most of the year.

The best way I could describe what it is like to have two holidays, to someone whose parents are together, is to compare it with visiting relatives. Some may know what it’s like to go to a party at a relative’s house and maybe it is at an aunt’s house or grandparent’s, but you have been to their party every year or maybe even just once. You talk to people you may not see very often. Eat the Ritz crackers with cheese appetizer, eat a big dinner and desperately try to contain your hunger so you can save room for dessert. That is the feeling I get when I celebrate with my dad. I go and see my family and have fun until it is time to go home.

Please do not assume this is a bad thing. The fact that my parents are not together does not mean I have family issues. It does not mean I am torn in half trying to cope with the fact that my parents are separated.  It simply means I have another family to give my love to and share happy moments with. I now have a second mother and a sister I have always wanted. So I am thankful for my two families this holiday season. I am honored to be surrounded by such loving people.