“All of a sudden, there’s a real person there that you’re in charge of and you’re responsible for their health and well being. It’s overwhelming. It’s profound. It’s definitely one of those experiences in life that defines everything. It kind of splits everything as it was before that moment and then everything it’s going to be after that moment. It’s one of those really transitional times. I think that when I heard that click of the door in that hotel room, that’s when it hits that you’re not just living for you anymore. You’re living for someone else and that person is your responsibility and you have to put their interest in front of everything. It’s a big moment,” English teacher Travis Gatewood said.

Interviewing three separate teachers about how it feels to be on the parental side of adoption, I began to reflect on my own life. I was adopted myself after just a few hours. My adoption was quick and simple, pre-planned from the beginning. My parents were even there in the delivery room; my father cut the umbilical cord.

I’m not unfamiliar with how it feels to grow up as an adopted child. I have first hand knowledge on what it feels like to sit in a science classroom as students around you trace their family’s heritage and you glance down at your alternative assignment. I know what it’s like to be interrupted in the middle of a story as friends ask, “Wait – are you talking about your mom or your adoptive mom?”

My mom is my mom. Unless referred to as my biological mom, I am talking about my “adoptive” mom.

People don’t realize that adoption is something that is dealt with every day to the point of normalcy. It’s not a sudden realization and it’s not questioning the bond you have with the people who raised you. These people are my parents, plain and simple.

“I think people, without realizing it, can be rude. They’ll say things like, “Well, who are their parents?” and of course, their parents are us. They don’t think before they say some things,” Jan Alderson said, and I couldn’t agree more.

These questions are also something I deal with often. While I hear it enough that the offensive edge has worn off, it’s very relatable. Adoption is tricky because it’s something that is easy to talk about, yet still needs to be handled carefully.

When it comes down to it, adoption really isn’t a big deal. My parents are my parents. They raised me the same way you were raised. They were at every event in my life growing up and they continue to be the people I rely on most.

Sharing DNA doesn’t matter. Sharing a background doesn’t matter. What matters is the life that I’ve been given and that I continue to live with the two people that love me the most.

Getting the perspective of these three individual teachers was an interesting experience. In a way, it brought me closer to my parents and helped me to comprehend what it feels like to be on the other side of adoption. I only hope that this story can bring understanding into your life the same way it did to mine. I hope it can help you appreciate your life and the circumstances under which you live. Adoption is all about gratitude. Gratitude from the parents to have the opportunity to raise a child or family, and gratitude from the child for the life they’ve been given the opportunity to live.

By: Hannah Strader